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In my dream I saw that everything was good enough.

But all the people are just characters. Episodic.

I don't like this thought, it's very sad.

And it's not easy to stop the process of making from them your own story. The most difficult thing ever - how to leave them free. To watch them equal to themselves. So wonderful, so interesting, so deep. So independent of you.

Please stop.

Please try to become adult and serious.

And you will never be aware of whether you make another one happier or not.

Whether you bother another one or not.

But then what can you do at all??? Just to observe?

You're so helpless.

So sad.

Everything is good enough.
It's the time of the season for loving, yeah.

Des bêtises, toujours des bêtises.

I don't know whether there's at least one thing available to make me cleverer.

No.

Seems like I have spoiled everything this time. It's possible.

But I'm soooo tired of trying to do anything - just anything - for myself and by myself. Only.

In vain.

I don't have any powers to study here, I'm not able to try anything by myself, having obscure aims, no advantages, being so stupid and negligent. I'm tired of all these cloud-castles, of fear of speaking with clever people, of having no chance of prospering and achievement.

If I hadn't my family and my friends... I don't even want to imagine what I would have felt.

But ok, my only desire at the moment is to leave traces in the lives of others. Just small and almost imperceptible.

For nothing else matters.